Dear you,
I think I've said almost all the things I had to say last night. And your response was clear enough to make me realize that it's impossible. So now that I know how you really feel about this, I've decided to quit. Yun naman yung gusto mo diba? So ibibigay ko na para matahimik ka na. LOL. Di na din kita guguluhin. sige bye.
Me
I feel so hopeless now. You seem so near yet so far. All I can do right now is to watch over you from afar. You seem happy with the way things are going on with your life while I, am left behind. I tried to look for something else to keep me busy as well but at the end of the day, you are still the one who pops out from my mind. Yes. Pathetic.
I'm in pain. I'm in deep shit right now because you seem to neglect how I feel. I don't know if you purposely neglect my feelings or you just don't see it. I still love you. And that's why I'm still here to support you even if it inflicts a lot of pain. I still stand here right beside you just in case you need someone to talk to even if I'm not the first person whom you will run to just in case. Andito lang naman ako palagi e. Kaya everytime tinatawagan moko para magreklamo or magrant o kahit magmura ka pa, masaya ako for some reason. Kasi it just means na may silbi parin ako sayo kahit papano. Kahit na minsan parang wala naman akong naitutulong sayo. Na pagbaba mo ng telepono malungkot ka pa rin. I feel somehow useless kasi hindi ko na kayang pasayahin ka. Pero o well. Hindi ko na din alam kung ano at sino ba talaga yung magpapasaya sayo. Alam mo, kung pwede ko lang ibigay yun sayo gagawin ko. Kahit masakit sakin sige okay lang. =(
Nakakalungkot kasi ang layo layo mo na sakin. Nararamdaman kong iba na yung treatment mo sakin. You don't care as much for me anymore. Parang wala lang sayo kung mapahamak ako or what. Minsan nga nararamdaman kong you don't see me as a woman anymore. Pero ganun e... hindi ko alam kung ano iniisip mo. =( pero nararamdaman kong nawawala na ung worth ko sayo.
Pero whatever happens, I've decided to stay beside you para if ever may fallback ka pa din. I'm always here to support you because I love you so much... >_<
Sige.... tsong bye~ =p
8.8.8
I can't believe that I spent it with you... well it's been a long while. I actually had fun though my purpose was defeated.. it was to help you with video editing shit. =)) I had fun playing WII though and talking with you about random things in life. I'm glad that you still get to open up to me even if we're no longer together as "you know".
I consider this day special because this is the time that I've finally decided to let go of your hand, permanently. I know you'll be fine. I'm glad that you're starting to find yourself and seeing you grow as a real man makes me happy.
I hope that we could still continue this special bond between us that only you and I can understand. I actually enjoy whatever it is that we have. The bottomline is that you'll always remain special in my heart. hahaha! cheesy but true. I may fall in love with someone else but one thing for sure is that you'll always have a special spot somewhere in my heart haha.
Well, I'd like to thank you for everything. I'll always be here for you and you know that. =p And yeah, I hope that this would be our final kiss. Yeah, this would definitely be our last kiss....
Let's start a brand new life as real friends and continue supporting one another.
But let's also not close doors whatever God plans for the both of us. For now, I'll go on with my thing and you go on with yours.
See you tomorrow~
Things have been going pretty well for me during the past weeks. I can say that I have totally recovered from the tremendous amount of pain I have experienced during the first half of the year. =)
We've also been going out a lot lately with our common friend (she was also the one who introduced his ex to him fyi =)) but I never held any grudge against that and it happened like, 10 years ago? lol. It feels good that I'm still friends with him despite everything that happened. It could mean that I have matured. But then again, I would hypocrite if I'll say that everything is back to normal... which I think would never happen.
It's a good thing that we still get to go out. Each day I spent with him proves that he's not THAT person whom I could really trust and love. He's definitely not the person that I'm looking for. Pero I don't regret everything that has happened between us. It would always be something that will always remain at the back of my mind and in some portion of my heart. haha. Mejo nakakalungkot lang na kahit gaano ko ipilit sa sarili ko na ipaglalaban ko siya, unti-unti naman na nawawala na yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. During the times na magkasama kami, dun ko narealize na wala na pala talaga. Kasi dati everytime na nakikita ko siya, it's either sobrang saya ko or nasasaktan ako. Pero ngayon normal nalang. And kahit ibalik pa yung oras, I won't wish that we'd be together again. I'd rather be with someone else.
Siguro ganun talaga. I'm happy naman that we're friends. I still care for him naman but I'm not sure kung mahal ko pa rin siya (even as a friend). I won't deny naman kasi na nasaktan talaga ako dati. Napatawad ko na siya pero mahirap talaga ibalik yung trust na kelangan para mahalin ko pa rin siya kahit konti. So far, ok na ko na ganito.
Wala lang. =) Natutuwa lang ako na nakakahinga nako ng maluwag. Yung wala na yung paranoia na nraramdaman ko. Masasabi kong nakamove on na talaga ako and I'm really glad that I did. =)